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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102142">Olaf is the Dyatlov Pass Incident</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSphere/pseuds/SilverSphere'>SilverSphere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies), Frozen (US 2010)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anna and Elsa are Siblings (Disney), Frozen (Disney Movies) References, Funny, Gen, Gross, Horror, Mild Language, Olaf - Freeform, Post-Frozen 2 (2019), Satire, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, Vomiting, olaf is evil</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:40:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,633</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102142</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSphere/pseuds/SilverSphere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>    <br/></p>
</div>Olaf regales his best friends with a Snow Memory, which are usually fanciful stories of another place and another time when he was just water.<br/>This time around he recalls the time he was the Dyatlov Pass avalanche.<p>A quick and dirty tone-deaf fic inspired from the <a href="https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2021/01/has-science-solved-history-greatest-adventure-mystery-dyatlov/">viral news piece ↗️</a> that Frozen animators shared their snow simulation code with a Dyatlov Pass researcher to more accurately recreate how the hikers died. </p><p>Except Olaf sucks.</p><hr/>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Olaf is the Dyatlov Pass Incident</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>❄️❄️❄️</p><p>It was a wintery evening, the wind was blowing countless little snow sprinkles off the eaves of the princess’s snug and cozy castle.</p><p>Olaf had just gotten done hugging each and every one of his friends for the ninth time that night.</p><p>“Tell us a story Olaf!”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re great at telling stories!” </p><p>Olaf giggled good naturedly.</p><p>Everyone was gathered in the living room of the castle where they liked to play charades, but this time they all had warm cups of cocoa, were snuggled up in blankets and the fire was roaring softly.</p><p>Anna, Elsa, Kristoff and Sven were waiting with baited breath for Olaf to begin one of his great Snow Memories, tales of which he remembered from his considerably long precipitous cycle as an unholy being made of crystalized water.</p><p>“Oh ho ho, you guys flatter me too much!” He giggled, twig hairs on his head bobbing. “I still don’t know everything there is to know!”</p><p>“But you’ve sure seen a lot,” Kristoff added. “More places than here.”</p><p>“That is true! Hmmm, let me think.” He took one branched hand and stroked his buck-toothed chin.</p><p>“Tell us one about a princess in a faraway land!” Anna squeaked. “I love princess stories!”</p><p>Elsa chimed in. “Hmm, how about one of love and love lost, like our parents' stories. I bet you’ve seen one of those.”</p><p>The Moose just farted.</p><p>“Hmmmm,” the snowman carried on. “A story about inseparable friends, how about that?”</p><p>They all looked at each other and nodded. “Tell us that one!”</p><p>Olaf smiled merrily and cleared his throat. </p><p>”Mhmhmhm! It all started on a day in early February of 1959.</p><p>I remember I was sleeping on the side of a mountain. I was all alone!”</p><p>“Awww,” the girls cooed. “Poor Olaf.”</p><p>“Furthermore, the slope on the side of the mountain was at a 30 degree angle which as we all know meant it was highly unlikely for the snow to budge anytime soon, making an avalanche highly unlikely.”</p><p>The trio of humans stopped stirring their cocoa for a second and Olaf was met with empty stares.</p><p>“Riiight,” Elsa said, looking embarrassed. “That is true. I know all about snow. That’s how it works.”</p><p>Olaf giggled. “You’re so smart Elsa, of course you’d know. Anyway, just then when another day was about to end, a group of nine travelers came walking up the slope. I was so excited! It had been so long since I had seen anyone.”</p><p>“That’s nice. Who were they?”</p><p>“I don’t really know, but they were bundled up in maaaany coats and scarves, and they were carrying lots of equipment on their backs! They spoke a language that sounded very angry and very bad but they looked so warm and cozy. Sometimes they held hands because the slope was so treacherous and windy so I could tell they were good friends.”</p><p>“What happened next, Olaf?”</p><p>“Well, the wind picked up harder, so they decided to do this most amazing thing where they made camp right between these two ridges which helped block out the wind. Gee, had they known I was there! Wow! I bet they would have been tickled pink. But I didn’t have any magic in me, no arms or legs, no mouth or eyes. There was nothing I could do to let them know I was there.”</p><p>“Aww, that’s too bad. So then you could only watch over them like a frosty little snow spirit.” Anna giggled and booped his big carrot nose, taking a sip of her cocoa.</p><p> Suddenly, Olaf’s eyes twitched and his voice dropped to a demonically low pitch. <b>“Not necessarily, Anna.”</b></p><p>Anna blinked twice, thinking she misheard. Olaf’s eyes flickered and returned to normal position, and he was back to brimming broadly with his adorably seasonably appropriate smile.</p><p>“By hammering the tent posts into the ground, Anna, they started a chain reaction, almost like magic, which would bring us together.”</p><p>The group just stared at each other.</p><p>“..Go on.” Kristoff offered.</p><p>“The wind had been depositing so much snow between the two peaks that it only SEEMED like a low angle slope, but in actuality it was a trick of the snow. Pressure began to mount. I felt like I was on the edge ready to roll out of bed! The tent poles driven into the slope were the final thing that loosened it all. I was brimming with so much happiness, I couldn’t help myself.”</p><p>Olaf paused to hug himself and jump up and down. “I rushed down the slope as fast as I could! I wanted to shout ‘Let me in, I’m coming too!’ But all that came out was an airy thundering, sort of like how it sounds when a plane takes off.”</p><p>“A what?”</p><p>“So there I was, rolling down the mountainside, wondering to myself if I need arms to hug or something. So I willed my hardest patches of ice up front to function sort of as arms.”</p><p>They just stared.</p><p>“Then I hugged each and every one of them!” Olaf started dancing and bopping up and down on the couch, tossing the pillows everywhere.</p><p>“Hey.. Were they okay?” Anna ventured.</p><p>“Oh haha! Certainly! One cut a hole out of the tent with a machete and climbed out. Soon then the others crawled out. They came out to see me! I was so touched. Some of them were still sleeping though. They were leaking a lot of red water everywhere or something. I know the feeling.”</p><p>Else held her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes, looking like she was going to heave.</p><p>Anna and Kristoff side-eyed each other and both put their cups and saucers on the coffee table with a light clatter.</p><p>“Kristoff, do you..?” Anna widened her eyes and nudged her head harshly in the direction of Elsa.</p><p>“Oh! Yes! Elsa, do you want to step outside with me for a moment?” He motioned to help her up with his hands.</p><p>“Nbo.. I’m good..” She said stuffily under her hand. “I can do it.” She smoothed her hair and sat upright again.</p><p>“That wasn’t even the best part!!” Olaf was still dancing and screeching with delight like a child at a playground.</p><p>“Olaf, maybe that’s enough.” Anna tried to tamp his energy down with her hand.</p><p>“Ohh, you guys don’t like this story?” He sat down plump on his butt. “Why?”</p><p>“No no, Olaf, it’s just.. Ehh..” Anna searched for the words in the air with a twirling hand. “...Violent?”</p><p>“Violent? Oh P’shaw! <b>YOU HAVEN’T SEEN VIOLENT YET, PUNY WEAKLINGS.”</b> His voice dropped into hell’s basement again and the trio ( including the dumb moose ) looked at him with trepid fright.</p><p>He raised his twiggy arms and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. The flames from the fireplace licked behind him in harsh silhouette. <b>“They thought they could escape! They ran for the trees, <i>but I was everywhere.”</i></b></p><p>“Elsa, do something!” Anna scolded. But Elsa was covering her face looking like she was going to heave again.</p><p>“They dragged their sleeping, leaking comrades, but soon there was no place to go. Nor did I want them to go. <b>We just got acquainted.</b>” Olaf smiled.</p><p>“Kristoff!!” Anna hissed. <i>“Go help Elsa!”</i></p><p>“Hey hol up,” he put up a hand, “this is getting really interesting.” Kristoff squinted and took up his cup of cocoa with a sip again.</p><p>Olaf was screeching like a high pitched toddler again. “They started looking confused, pulling off all their clothes even though they were shivering cold. Some of them wouldn’t wake up, but their friends wouldn’t leave them behind. A pity, if they did, they might have made it back to civilization! But they liked me juuuuust that much, they wanted to <b>stay with me.</b>”</p><p>Anna smacked the enraptured Kristoff on the shoulder while he intently listened on the edge of his seat. So she got up instead.</p><p>“Hey Elsa, you wanna go?” Elsa squinched her face and nodded, getting up slowly.</p><p>“..So then they aaaaaall fell asleep and we got to stay good friends for atleast a few weeks more! And then a bear and a few birds came by too, and ate part of them. One like pecked their eyes out, and,” Olaf was counting on his twiggy fingers. Kristoff smirked and nodded, impressed.<br/>
“And one ate their nose off, and one of them even ate this girl’s tongue out!”</p><p>“Dude, what the FUCK Olaf!!” Anna pointed at Olaf accusingly with an open palm.</p><p>Just as she was speaking - </p><p>
  <i>HOURGHHHH.</i>
</p><p>Elsa threw up all over Sven, who was startled and got up, shaking, flicking throwup everywhere.</p><p>“Haha wow, this is a new kind of snow! What amazing new things you find if you live long enough!” Olaf twinkled and pirouted around on one foot, catching bits of vomit on his tongue..</p><p>“But you know what is better than THAT? A Song!” He shimmied his little wood arms and broke out immediately into song.</p><p>“Do you want to build a snow sim~~”🎵<br/>
La dee dee dee----<br/>
“We can simulate human death better with pixar technology and ~ crashtestdummycadaverbodieeeees~~”🎵<br/>
He started shaking his butt.</p><p>Elsa (whose sweaty hair was currently being held back by Anna) glared menacingly at the snowman from behind wet tendrils of loose blonde hair.</p><p>She rumbled. “Olaf.. was a mistake.”</p><p>“What? Was there something wrong with that story, Elsa?” Olaf smiled dorkily with his big buck teeth and silly carrot nose. “I think it’s a great story! Friends don’t leave friends behind. And we all hugged for a looooooong time.”</p><p><b>“Olaf was a MISTAKE!”</b> Her eyes began glowing and her petite nose wrinkled.</p><p>She lifted one arm stiffly at him and flourished her fingers gracefully, causing Olaf to immediately start shaking and he exploded.</p><p>❄️❄️❄️</p>
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